A loss of a TRUE San Franciscan

The news of Robin Williams death has sent shock waves throughout the world. As soon as a friend of mine Tweeted at me the breaking news it was numbing. I had to Google right away to make sure it wasn't a hoax. I knew that Mr. Williams had recently been seeking professional help for substance abuse problems but never knew about the deep seeded demons. As I drove my car this afternoon to run an errand I tuned into the AM news channels to see what they were saying about his death. It was much of the same but with a palpable sadness. The sports reporter came on a bit verklempt talking about how he was seeing a lot of pictures flood in of Mr. Williams attending San Francisco Giants games, 49er games and baseball games across the country. I realized hearing his tone followed by a local comedian's live interview about Robin Williams that San Francisco as well as the Bay Area lost one of their own.

I could hardly contain my tears, sadness, broken heart or the bare feelings of utter loss. I had no direct connection with Robin William except the time I was an extra in a lesser known film that he starred in during the late 90's. When I met him he definitely lived up to the hairiness you often heard about but he was also one of the kindest talent I have ever come across. After a lunch break on the film Mr. Williams stood there shaking the hand of every extra that had been hired that day to fill a small outdoor auditorium in the Marin headlands. What a class act.

After remembering that interaction this afternoon I came to realize that Robin Williams was Mr. San Francisco. In a time where San Francisco is steadily losing it's identity we had Robin Williams. A guy who moved out here with his family early in life and stuck it out here. He loved the Giants, he walked around San Francisco like no big thing, he supported local non-profits and he never left. I think that is the biggest loss for us that are native to not only San Francisco but to the Bay Area. His death is a reminder that the good in San Francisco is disappearing. San Francisco's rich history is slowly but steadily moving away from itself. Old establishments are getting uprooted to other parts of the city or decimated completely. Cultural icons such as the famous twins of the city are passing away one by one or your favorite restaurant has shut its doors forever. The things that have made San Francisco special are fading away including an international star who never turned his back on his city.

Today will be a day I'll never forget. Robin Williams was one of the good guys. His dedication to the craft of comedy, improv and acting will forever be studied and imitated. He brought Hollywood to San Francisco and San Francisco to Hollywood.  He never seemed to get too big for his britches and lived with a sincere soul. Mr. Williams will forever be a true City kid. He may have been born in the Midwest but he certainly left his heart in San Francisco and we will never forget his kindness or love for the city by the bay. May you rest in peace Mr. Robin McLaurin Williams.

Behind the Scenes Anxiety aka Documentary Filmmaking

It's been four and a half days since my partner in production and the director of our documentary Angela Tabora and I pulled the trigger on our second Kickstarter campaign. On day two we were on the phone asking each other why we were putting ourselves through this again. Was it this stressful last year during our first campaign? Are we doing enough to get the word out? Do people care? WHY is the potato salad Kickstart making money hand over fist? So many questions coupled with oodles of anxiety and stress had me wide awake for the first two nights of crowdfunding. It wasn't until night three that I decided the Melatonin pills weren't working and that it was time to take some Nyquil to get some quality ZZZZZZZ's.

The Nomadic Family Project has been in production since September 2012. It's been one of the craziest adventures I've ever been involved with and I've had my fair share of crazy. Being able to successfully fund our first campaign was mind blowing. We didn't really do the research about how to successfully crowdfund that we probably should have but we put a lot of heart in soul into it and I think that's what made it successful. This time around Angela and I did our research. Had several conversations with a wonderful person who is a professional fundraiser and gave us great feedback. Angela and I were way more conscience about our Kickstarter video and made sure to listen to our first round of feedback from our donors to make sure all basis were covered. We looked at the current landscape of documentaries that are on Kickstarter to see what was making money and what was not. How their pages looked down to their logo's. Angela and I made sure to create better incentives and really think about contribution price points. We've scoured travel blogs, women in film and documentary sites, any online bloggers as well as other groups that might be interested in spreading the word or even donate to our second Kickstarter campaign. Anything and anyone that could be interested in our film we are contacting and quite possibly stalking. ;)

We never thought for one second that making this film was going to be easy and boy this couldn't be truer in the last month and a half. Angela and I had a plan for our second crowdfunding campaign. We had set a date for late July to initiate our Kickstarter campaign. We had someone interested in hosting a great backyard party for us down in Southern California. We started researching new donors and were in the process of putting together fancy invites for this cheese and wine Kickstarter kick off. Well, all of that changed at a moments notice. Due to unforeseen circumstances The Nomadic Family had to head back home to Israel. We received a message from them on a Monday in late May and by that Saturday they were home. Thank goodness for good friends in TV production as we were able to scramble and find someone to shoot their homecoming. Our production crew of three wanted to be there so badly but life happens and that's the beauty of a documentary - you never know what's going to happen! Since the family went home so abruptly we had to hustle on the crowdfunding and that's where we're at now. Thanks to one of our donors, Angela is flying over on stand-by passes to Israel this coming Monday. We realize that there is a war going on (believe me, we're monitoring the news and keeping in touch with friends over there) but the family is over there and have been home for a month. That is a lost month of footage and that is why there is an urgency to make our goal of $25,000 in the next 25 days.

The rest of our crew (me and our wonderful Director of Photography - Noah Cooper) need to join Angela in Israel to help her with filming. Once we get back from Israel Angela will need to finish the last portion of editing all of the Israel footage and then get it into the second editing phase. Piecing together Angela's edits, adding music, color correction, and title treatments will need to be done by a professional. Once that process is done we'll need to start applying to film festivals. We're not limiting ourselves to just the US circuit, we dream of going back to Nepal and Israel to show the final product.  In a time of gun violence, wars, poverty, consumerism, technology, and mind numbing entertainment we want to tell this story about chasing your dreams, family unity, cultural understanding, and kindness. We will press on to get this film done and hope that this behind the scenes information will help you decide if you can help us. Thanks for reading and thanks for dreaming.

Third World Thoughts From Nepal

I could go on and on about traveling abroad to a third world country but I won't. There's too much going on in my head about it and I don't have the time or energy to weave some kind of beautiful story like Eat, Pray, Love so I'll just bullet point what's been going on in this brain matter of mine.

-Third world countries are no joke
-In 2013, a third world country such as Nepal places more importance on WiFi than on figuring out an infrastructure.
-The above statement isn't a judgement, rather an observation
-America and Americans are spoiled. All the way down to the homeless.
-You can purchase an all-you-can-eat meal for $1.50 and it's healthy and they come to you to refill. You're not a trough piling on food that you won't eat
-Most everyone, even the beggars can speak some type of english or Chinese or Japanese. Smart.
-I will never look at a toilet or hot shower the same again when I get home
-Travel cankles suck.
-Be thankful for a recycling program
-Be thankful for sewage treatment plants
-Be thankful for clean water and remember not to trash the environment. Seriously. That's not tree hugger speak.
-Be kind
-Be polite
-Always have some kind of American cash on your person
-Be patient
-Go to bed when the locals go to bed
-Don't be afraid to strike up conversations with the locals. They may pour you some tea and tell you that they do in fact sell some fake pashmina's but they'll tell you the difference after you finish your tea.
-Have faith in the locals.
-Have faith in yourself
-Place your money in different places so if in fact you are robbed or get a bag or backpack stolen, you'll still have other places to find your money
-I wish that the US Government would help third world countries with some of our tax dollars rather than use tax dollars to destroy things. Wouldn't that make everyone feel good?

The Reverend Al Green

    I usually leave music writing to my dear friend Katie Jackson. Her blog is called TuneMusing and if you love music you should subscribe to her blog -----> here. I was so touched by my first Al Green concert that I found myself having to write about the experience.

Al Green was my entry into what I now know as my love affair with all things soul. I grew up fortunate enough with a lot of good music around me. My mom loved Motown, my Dad loved Jazz and Country music and my sister was all R&B all of the time. It wasn't until the soudtrack of Pulp Fiction that I started paying attention to music. Pulp Fiction was really a two fold sensory overload. First, Tarantino's filmmaking/story telling was on a whole new level. Second, his use of music in that film was well played. The entire soundtrack was gold. Al Green, Dusty Springfield, Kool & The Gang --------> yes please. I played that soundtrack over and over again. On my way to school, in my room, wherever I could find a CD player. Yes, a CD player. It was 1994.

Since then, Al Green has been a daily drug. His music and lyrics reach down deep hitting my heart, soul.....all the way down to my tip toes. My favorite Al Green tune - Love & Happiness. That song is best played on the juke box of a dive bar late at night. The first beats with the  guitar and tapping strike a chord in an empty, dark bar calling to whatever love- past, present or future, you may be holding onto. His lyrics talk about that kinda love that calls you at 2AM (you know the kind) and also the love that comes home early cause they've waited all day to hold you. That song by the Reverend will always be on my top 10 list.

Seeing Al Green in the flesh has been on my music bucket list for a while. My young co-worker was the one to spearhead the purchasing of tickets for the show and little did she know what she was getting into.  When he hit the stage in a full tuxedo, spats and white gloves to boot, I knew this was going to be a sersious music event. Earlier in the day I had texted my young co-hort that I was going to dress up for the evening. I told her I had to dress up for the Reverend, it shows respect. Well, it was a fantastic surprise that he was dressed to the nine's for us, which reflected his respect for his fans.

I know that Al Green lived a pretty hard life early on and it showed during the gig. He's a really young man in the scheme of things (mid 60's), but during the show he was singing his ass off  so hard that he would literally have to pause between songs and take some deep breaths and let us know that some of his classics kick his own ass. He also handed out long stemmed roses to his lady (which also included one dude) fans. It was totally old school and wonderful. He shined that classic big grin a million times and yelled out to the crowd how much he loved us. His band was tight and included his children who are his backup singers. During the entire show it just felt like one big Al Green hug. It was probably the best Al Green experience I could've had.

Al wasn't on stage for a long time, but long enough to give us the hits. At the end of the show it seemed all of us in the crowd rallied for an encore, but I think Al's steam ran out and the lights went up and that was that. There were definitely tears that were shed for Al a few times during his set which again, my poor younger co-hort didn't know what to do with, but hey, music makes me emotional and I guess so does Al Green. So, here's to a little Love and Happiness in all of our worlds and of course more Al Green.

The Fourth Wheel.

  I've found a new title for myself in urban society. You can call it whatever you like. Fag hag, fruitfly, I'm gonna call it what it is - the Gay Man's Wing Woman . The revelation came to me a couple of weeks ago when a friend of mine asked if I wanted to head out with her gay work husband and another gay man as she wanted to play gay match maker and I would be a part of the "double date." At first I didn't understand what she was  really asking, but I'm usually up for anything at least once.

Then came the day that we were all supposed to meet up and hang out. I had to ask her again what we were doing. Were she and I supposed to be on a date too? Am I a beard like Kim Kardashian? I was confused. What it turned into was a very pleasant evening with one of my best friends and two of the most decadently handsome men that I've ever had the pleasure of spending time with. When I say handsome, I mean HANDSOME. We laughed, they bought us ladies drinks and food, we strolled around, indulged in Smitten ice cream and laughed some more. At the end of the evening we hugged it out, said au revoir and hoped that the "date" my friend and I were supervising went well for our handsome gays.

The next day my friend and I were laughing saying that was one of the best dates we'd been on in a long time....except for the obvious. For a moment I felt sorry for myself. Wondering if this is my new "dating" life? Is this the best it's going to get?  And then I came off my "feeling sorry for myself" perch and remembered that I've been a "wing woman" since I was a kid without even realizing it.

When I was in elementary school I had a boy who liked to hang around with me and a couple of my close girlfriends. We loved New Kids On The Block and so did he. We went to their concerts and so did he. We had posters of them on our walls and, you guessed it,  so did he. Troy even had a favorite New Kid and kissed his poster before he went to bed. Us girls thought nothing of it. Fast forward a few years and in High School, I dated a really cute skater boy who seemed a little "Emo" at the time. He was a little dark but nothing I couldn't handle, just thought it was hormones and him not really getting along with his family - the ususal teen angst. He had to abruptly leave our school because of how dark he got and it was a little devastating. I was on a family vacation during Thanksgiving break which, in those times, there was no internet or cell phones and when I returned he was gone. It was years later, thanks to the internet and a little thing called MySpace that I found him. He was in a very happy and committed same sex partnership and I knew that was the reason he had been so sad and dark during high school. I wish he felt comfortable to have told me back then that he liked boys because I totally would of had his back. But attending a conservative, Christian school didn't leave much room for a lot of acceptence or support.

Going back to Troy, we had lost touch since our elementary school days but recently just ran into him on the streets of San Francisco. He's a beautifully handsome gay man in his adult life. Happy, successful and did I mention handsome? I guess when we were kids maybe we should have known he "liked" boys, but what did we know, he just wanted to hang out with the girls and bless our parents for letting him feel normal. I know Troy dated girls in elementary school and high school, but I'm so glad he's been able to grow up and be himself and I have to say, if I were a gay man, I would totally date him. Hello Troy!!!

It seems I've always been drawn to gay men starting at a very young age. My sister had gay friends in the 1980's and with our 20 year age difference all of her friends were adults. I had gay "uncles" without knowing it. They were fabulous and I can't lie, I had crushes on them and wanted to marry someone like them when I grew up. My brother is gay and he would bring his friends to holiday party's but I had no idea, it was just more boys for me to hang with.

As an adult, I've learned that pretty much half of my celebrity adolescent crushes are now out of the closet. I suppose it's not surprising. I've had a thing for gay males since I was a kid and now realize I've been their wing woman for decades. It's a blessing and a curse, especially living and trying to date in the city of San Francisco. There has been a moment or two where there has been confusion about dudes I have gone on dates with. Is he or isn't he.......that IS the question.

No matter really. I look forward to more gay dates and being the designated wing women in the future, especially when you know they're not looking for anything more than good company, gossip and a nice sparkling Rose.

V.D.

Valentines Day. It's the last few hours until that Hallmark holiday. I'm not here to crap on it, I'm here to celebrate it. Music and love hold a very special place in my heart and I thought I'd do a little top 10 playlist of music that warms my soul. It's not in any particular order and you may disagree, but hey, if any of these picks inspire you in some romantic way, I've done my job.

1) Marvin Gaye - After the Dance

2) Isley Brothers - Footsteps in the Dark
3) Santo & Johnny - Sleepwalk
4) Goapele - Play
5) Flamingos - I Only Have Eyes for You
6) Anthony David - Cold Turkey
7) El Debarge - All This Love
8) Michael Jackson - Lady In My Life

9) Bill Withers - Use Me

10) Otis Redding - Cigarettes and Coffee

Bonus picks since I'm celebrating Valentines with these two fellas:

Raphael Saadiq (TTT) - Lay Your Head on My Pillow

Lenny Kravitz - I Belong To You

Happy Valentines Day.

xo